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Our Nearsighted Ghost
© 2004 copyright Raymond C. Evans
We have a ghost in our house; this is pretty unusual considering that our house is less than 100 years old and no one has died here, “not yet”, anyway! He’s a very polite and considerate ghost though, he rarely goes “bump in the night” or other things that bad ghosts are reported to do.
We think our ghost may be near-sighted or something because he always borrows our glasses, and then doesn’t return them where they can be found. My wife Joy has two pair of glasses and I four, scant little good they do, if you can’t find them. I have one real old pair that I use just for the shop while I’m welding etc. I have another that I use just for the computer monitor, another for general use and then one for working crossword puzzles.
Our ghost must have a bizarre sense of humor because he always borrows and replaces the wrong glasses in my shirt pocket. This gives me reason to think many unkind thoughts about him when out in the shop I find myself with the wrong pair.
A few days ago while at a social event, sure enough, I found that our ghost had struck again, he had taken my glasses out of my pocket before I had left home and put them on my dresser. Our host seeing that I needed glasses, kindly offered the use of one of his old ones. It was a very kind offer but they just didn’t fit. It was sort of like looking through the bottoms of an old fruit jar. One could well imagine that maybe there might even be a few pickles left in the bottom of the things, they were so ill fitting.
Sure enough, when I arrived home, there were my glasses, right where that mischievous ghost had put them. I suspect that our ghost may be responsible for a lot of other things that are missing around here as well, but we’re just not sure.
We’ve never really seen this ghost, of course, that’s just because we can never find our glasses.
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