Changes as we Age

© 2005 copyright Raymond C. Evans

There are many changes that come about as we age; when folks are young they don’t care a whole lot about the present. They just can’t wait to grow up. By the time we reach middle age we get a whole lot more interested in our present, still look to the future and start to look back a little bit too. When we reach the “Geezerhood” years like I have, we don’t look forward at all. We look back with great nostalgia to even the simplest things. The present becomes really important to us too. We may not have a whole lot of it left so we had darned well better figure out how to make the best of it.

Things are kind of mixed up and backwards with the human race, when we are young we are reckless and brash. The young will take chances and do everything they can think of to test the endurance of their young bodies. They take chances that none of us old geezers would ever think of taking. Seems like they just can’t wait to break all their bones and poison all their insides with all those things that the oldsters say is taboo. These are the things that we oldsters should be doing now. We should be out tearing up the streets with “Hogs”, (Harley Motorcycles). Just think, we could go out with tires screeching and rubber flying. What a blast that would be compared to lying in a nice comfortable bed in a rest home down at Shady Acres. The young pray for excitement, we oldsters pray, “give me one more day Lord”, “please just one more day”! “Please Lord, I’ll be good”, “you’ll see”! We have everything turned around, the young should be careful; we old geezers should be the ones who are reckless.

The "ologies" mean different things to different age groups too. A youngster in school may be learning biology, where you learn how to molest and dissect a frog or an earthworm. That’s a whole lot more fun than higher mathematics, unless you’re a frog or an earthworm.

As the youngster goes to college, he may learn sociology, higher degrees of biology, physiology, psychology, geology, just to name a few. When we get older we will learn about the perils of gynecology, proctology and a few other nasty terms.

Just a few weeks ago my wife and my doctor got their heads together and made an appointment for me for a physical exam, if it were up to me I would have put it off another ten years or so. These physical exams are where some of the very worse “ologies” come into play.

The doctor said it’s time for your IQ test, oh not that one I hedged! Now would come that awful moment of truth. “You have an absolutely marvelous prostate”, she said, so far so good, “but I never found even a smidgeon of intelligence”, she added.

Well I guess one out of two can’t be that bad.

There are just a lot of ailments that we old geezers seem to get, usually if it’s not hurting it’s not working. We can survive some of them and some we can’t. The worst one of the bunch is “natural causes”, have you ever heard of anyone surviving that one? Almost every day we read about or are hearing about someone dying from natural causes. Never in my whole life have I ever heard of any one living from natural causes, have you? I haven’t even heard of anyone being born from natural causes or somebody getting pregnant from natural causes; have you. What could be more natural than that?

Another “old geezer yarn” from the Old Geezer himself, Ray Evans