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Ten Reasons an Old Geezer Shouldn't Brush His Teeth
© 2005 copyright Raymond C. Evans
# 1 If he can’t find them.
# 2 He doesn’t have any left to brush.
# 3 If he has two broken arms.
# 4 He thinks his cordless drill is a toothbrush.
# 5 He forgets their location.
# 6 If he thinks they may bite his hand.
# 7 If he’s put his foot in his mouth again.
# 8 If he still has his foot in his mouth.
# 9 He thinks he needs to take them to the car-wash.
#10 He wants to borrow your blow-drier to dry them.
Note: If he can’t find his teeth he’ll just have to remember where he put them before he can brush them. If he doesn’t have any left to brush we might assume that he has dentures, if that is the case you might consider throwing them in the washer with his clothes. Don’t run them through the drier though because the heat will make them warp and as a result he will end up with a crooked smile.
One should not expect him to brush his teeth with broken arms, it would not be humane.
If he has delusions about his cordless drill being a tooth-brush he should not be left alone in the bathroom, ditto if he feels the same way about his weed-whacker.
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